Mothers as Gold, Fathers as Mirrors: Lessons from the Ballon d’Or
Jerry Adesewo
It is no longer news that PSG and France’s Ousmane Dembele won the 2024/25 Ballon d’Or trophy on Monday night, beating his closest rival, Lamine Yamal of Barcelona and Spain.
At the Ballon d’Or awards, one couldn’t help but notice a trend. As football’s brightest stars came forward to be celebrated—Ousmane Dembélé, Lamine Yamal, and others—most of them proudly showcased their mothers. The cameras lingered on their tearful embraces, the stories flowed about sacrifices made, and the applause thundered. The mothers were centre stage.
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“But where were the fathers?” Some asked on a whatsapp group I am a member of. And another responded “Absent, invisible, sometimes unmentioned. It’s always the mothers who take the glory. Fathers don suffer.”
As the deliberation, unmoderated, it stirs a reflection in me amd a question that says: “why is this so?
The Yoruba people have a proverb: “Ìyá ni wúrà, bàbá ni dígí.” Literally: “Mother is gold, father is a mirror.” On the surface, this may seem like a statement of hierarchy—gold over glass. But on reflection, it is an invitation to think deeply: gold vs. mirror.
The Gold That Mothers Are
Gold is precious, rare, and enduring. It does not tarnish easily. Even when buried or hidden, its shine can always be restored. In the same way, a mother’s love and sacrifice cannot be diminished. She bears the pain of childbirth, stretches her resources to feed her children, and often denies herself comfort so that her family can thrive.
It is no surprise, then, that at moments of triumph, many run first to their mothers. They are the steady glow in the background, always investing, always present. Ìyá ni wúrà.
The Mirror That Fathers Should Be
But the proverb continues: “Bàbá ni dígí.” The father is a mirror. Unlike gold, a mirror is fragile. It does not shine by itself; it reflects. It shows identity, offers direction, and sometimes exposes flaws. A father’s role is to model, to guide, to provide a reflection of strength, discipline, and integrity for his children to emulate.
Just as at the Ballon d’Or, society often finds the mirror missing, or cracked. Many fathers are absent, some neglectful, and others so consumed with survival that they fade from their children’s narrative. This absence leaves a void; without a mirror, a child’s sense of self can become blurry.
A Call for Balance
So, which is more important: gold or mirror? Yoruba wisdom does not pit them against each other. The child needs both—the enduring value of gold and the guiding clarity of the mirror. When the mirror is missing, the story tilts, and recognition goes largely to one side.
This is not to say mothers are over-celebrated. No, they deserve every ounce of honour they receive. Rather, it is to challenge fathers to clean their mirrors, to stand present in their children’s lives, so that when the bright lights of destiny shine—whether at the Ballon d’Or or in the quiet victories of everyday life—the reflection of fatherhood will also be visible.
Reflections
The Ballon d’Or spotlight, like such other global stages where fathers seem to be missing, was a reminder of what we celebrate and what we neglect. Mothers will always be gold, but fathers must strive to be the mirror their children need. A mirror polished with presence, sacrifice, and love.
May our society raise men who embrace this responsibility, and may children grow up seeing not only the shine of gold but also the clarity of the mirror.
As for me, I am going to be available, as I have so far been, in the lives of my daughters, and as they already know, na me and my wife go come do omugwo.
Mothers as Gold, Fathers as Mirrors: Lessons from the Ballon d’Or